It’s a strange feeling to enjoy so much, blushing. And I do think of it as the entire feeling, not just the physical reaction – blood rushing to my face, ears burning, etc etc. I don’t even know how much it shows on my face, honestly – I’m never really in a position to see it for myself, either in front of a mirror or recording a video. But to me, it encompasses the whole range of emotions that you feel at the time – the slight-to-extreme embarrassment, maybe a feeling of “awwww”, an unconscious little smile creeping onto your face. Maybe you did something wrong, maybe you’re pretty embarrassed, maybe something incredibly hot is happening on your phone and you’re trying to play it cool while you’re at work – any of these totally hypothetical scenarios could be the cause.
Why am I talking about blushing? Well, you see, the thing is… recently I’ve become completely immersed in some of the most embarrassing kinks out there. I don’t say this because I dislike them – in fact I’d say quite the opposite, seeing as that they are the hottest thing to have happened to me in living memory. And I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m ashamed of them, either, as I look back on my own memories and notes with much fondness and even some unexpected emotionality. But, I will admit, when I review some of the things I’ve said in the heat (ha) of the moment, I do feel a little warmth making its way into my cheeks, as I stare at the unabashed sluttery on full display.
I’ve begged to be filled, pleaded to have my hole wrecked and ruined. Recorded MULTIPLE audio clips where I’m so desperate for Mistress to fuck a baby into her little breeding bitch that I can’t think straight for the sheer urgent need. In the moment, all meant with 200% certainty – there’s simply no question that this is what my body, my soul, required. And, to be honest, even as I write this, I can’t find myself disagreeing with anything I’ve said. But, like, at the same time, I sort of look back on it like “…this isn’t normal, is it?”. And, just to be completely clear – fuck “normal”. If this is weird – and I’m pretty sure it’s at least a little weird – then I guess I’m just a strange guy. But I do still kind of feel it, too. I think part of it might be the fact that I can’t really explain why any of it is so hot to me? Mpreg – and, god, it’s REALLY embarrassing to call it that, but that IS what it is, huh – has never once been a thing I even THOUGHT about liking. But, here we are. Some of the things I’ve said to Mistress over the past few weeks have no place in a self-respecting slut’s mouth – but, well, here we are. So many of these things, I’ve just never even entertained as possibilities for me – and so when they hit me this hard, the only emotion my brain thinks makes sense is a little blushy embarrassment.
And, yes, I see the irony in writing a public blog post about how things embarrass me, I get it. Luckily, these blogs basically disappear into the void once I’m done with them, in that I pretty much just stop thinking about them instantly.
Of course, there are other reasons to blush and feel all embarrassed. In fact, Mistress Charlotte tried a new-ish one out on me today. Tell me, how much do you know about praise kink? Mistress seems determined to instil one in me, which is fun. It does mean that I have to take some point-blank compliments, so she can watch with a decent amount of amusement as I get all blushy. Not that that’s the ONLY reason, I should clarify – she’s not just giving me lip service, here. I know she actually believes the lovely words she’s sending my way. Which, really, only makes me more heart-poundingly embarrassed to hear them. Not in like an ashamed, “this is secretly wrong but I’m into it” way, more like a “you are delivering direct and pointed compliments right to my face, I’m not used to this and I don’t know what to do” kind of way. If I were there, I’d be desperately avoiding eye contact, and probably babbling like a nervous schoolboy. As it is, I just sort of have to sit there while steam comes out my ears, and my brain plays the dial-up tone on repeat for a couple minutes. Which I think is exactly the reaction she was hoping for.
Truthfully, I’m a pretty oblivious boy, and I tend to overthink things a lot when given the opportunity. So having such sweet compliments, with no way to misinterpret them, is actually a really special feeling – even if I do blush myself to death in the process. Guess who might have a praise kink? Thanks for reading!