In A Daze (Resolutions, Day 156)

You know how people say that the drive home from work can put you into a minor state of trance? Like, you might “come to” partway through and realise you had no recollection of the journey up to that point, your body acting on auto-pilot as it takes you through the same familiar path you’ve driven time, and time, and time again? I feel like I’ve been having that with my own walks to and from work, recently. It doesn’t help (or it does help, depending on how much you enjoy trance) that my route is a literal straight line up one street to get to work, and back down it again to come home. Plus, I’m usually still a little groggy when I leave in the mornings, and by the time the afternoon rolls around I’m often feeling a bit dead on my feet anyway. All of that to say, I’ve definitely noticed some of these little mini-trances. But not just during the commute…

No, I’ve also noticed them during my malewife deepthroat training! As the goal times continue to get longer and longer, and I spend longer and longer connected to my little docking station, I’m picking up on some definite patterns. It usually starts with a surge of arousal (still a bit of a mystery to me) as the dildo ka-chunks into place deep in my throat. Fun malewife fact: the depth that the dildo reaches when I’m nose-to-wall, chin-to-silicone-balls, fully docked, pretty much exactly matches where Mistress Charlotte’s collar sits around my neck! So if you’re wondering just how precisely stuffed full this slutty housewife is, that should give you a pretty good measure. Anyway, after that burst of pure horny energy subsides, it’s mostly me trying to find the right angle/position that doesn’t, y’know, break my neck too badly. And after that… It’s all kind of a blur. I remember focusing very hard on my breathing, slow and deep, in and out. I remember finding that I had a little more dildo left to go, and moving myself forward pretty much on instinct. And… that’s about it! I’m sure I was thinking things for at least some of the time, shifting in place to give my knees a break. But for the most part, I really don’t recall thinking anything at all.

Thinking about it, it does make sense – hypno, too, also involves a good deal of deep, slow breathing, as well as concentrating rather hard on one thing in particular. It’s just that, in this case, it’s the feeling of something thick and hard in my throat, rather than Mistress Charlotte’s words. The physical position also isn’t nearly as relaxing as lying back in bed with a hypnosis session. But ultimately, I think I can see why I’m seeing the similarities. It’s also, frankly, just kind of hot! To think that I can just lose minutes at a time, kneeling in my place beneath and being a good submissive malewife – letting my body be used, always available for my superiors, while my mind just… goes away, for a little. Simply superfluous to requirements, for the time being – I’m not cooking, nor cleaning, nor doing my slutty little embroideries while I watch my shows, so there’s really no need for me to have a mind at all, right now. Right now, all I am is just a set of holes to be filled. Until Mistress is finished using me.

Of course, I’m sure that were it a real strap-on and not a wardrobe-door-mounted dildo, things would be a little different – I don’t think my gag reflex is quite suppressed enough to not kick in if there were the slightest bit of movement in my throat. Not yet, anyway. But, really, isn’t that what the training is for? I’m sure with enough time and dedication, we can get past that pesky little biological impulse. All for the greater purpose of serving my Mistress’s pleasure. Exactly as it should be. Thanks for reading!

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