Yeah, not much slutty going on in my head today. I mean, the usual things are still going on, of course – still collared, still caged, still drinking from a slave bowl. I still slept on the floor last night. All of that’s still true! But, idk, between Mistress’s recent tweet (RIP, PorchCat 💙) and just having a pretty nothing chill day on the couch, it’s hard to go from that straight into “hey what if I got bent over and pounded?”. Slutting ain’t always easy! And I wish it were, sometimes. Sometimes it’d be nice to just turn everything off for a little, stop all that pesky thinking, and just sink into simple, easy, sluttery.
Maybe I’ll listen to some hypno later tonight? I feel like I haven’t properly laid down and actually listened to a session for a good while. And it does usually do the trick of getting me to stop thinking! The problem is when it does that so well that I actually just fall asleep. Because then I usually wake up near the end of the session, and it’s the same problem I had yesterday with the impromptu couch nap. Or, not the same, but similar – I find I don’t usually feel nearly as bad after falling asleep to hypno. I guess because I’ve gone into it with the expectation that I’ll be relaxing anyway? Whereas the couch is more of a “surprise, you’re asleep now” type thing.
Speaking of hypnosis, though – I follow a few hypno-kinksters on Twitter, Dommes and subs and switches and everything else. And seeing the way they all react to the experience of trance does make me wonder if I’m almost doing something wrong? Like, I’m not overly worried about it, because 1) I’m pretty sure there’s not actually a wrong way to experience hypno, and 2) even if there were, I’ve still enjoyed all my time with it, so what does it even matter? But the way people respond – and you can see it especially in videos – to triggers, and drops, and the feeling of actually sinking into trance… It looks like the stereotypical stage hypnosis thing – a tap on the shoulder, and their head just drops, their eyes fluttering. Maybe it’s being played up for the camera? Maybe it’s to do with the physicality of having the hypnotist there in the room? I have no clue. But it just doesn’t seem to be how I experience it.
To me, it’s more like… Like what I was talking about earlier, with the stopping of thinking. I feel like I’m noticeably relaxed, and even if I think I’m not going to go too deep at the start, it usually seems to grab me pretty good by the end. But it never feels as dramatic as it seems when I see it in other people. The same with triggers and post-hypnotic stuff – I don’t necessarily feel like something’s been implanted in me that deeply. Although to be fair I don’t think I’ve ever really trained myself to them that hard before.
The one exception to all of this is probably Mistress Charlotte’s Ground Zero, an HFO file which I absolutely adore, and in fact I have gotten to work for me (even from within chastity!). I don’t know what it is about it, but it really hit me incredibly hard. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who can maybe relate to what I’ve said here, or who has been curious about HFO files – this one definitely makes you feel things. Thanks for reading.