Hurts So Good (Resolutions, Day 91)

Bleh. Today was the first day of another week working at home, although that being enforced ends on Thursday! The team is no longer split in half, although we can still work from home if we want to. I feel pretty much ok about that – I feel like people coming into the office have been really good about masks, sanitising, etc., so I don’t mind everyone being in there – and at the same time, giving everyone the option to keep working from home if they feel like it is pretty great too.

So why do I say “bleh”? Well, after clocking out for the day, I sat on the couch to catch up on some Twitch VODs I’ve been working through – and before long, I straight up fell asleep. It wasn’t for long – maybe an hour, maximum? – but you know what impromptu naps are like. I feel like absolute shit right now, truth be told, and I suspect it’s going to fuck up my ability to properly get to sleep later on. Joy! Hopefully this doesn’t turn out too incoherent and/or insane.

In kink news – I don’t have much to talk about, truth be told. I’m still following all my House Rules – still collared, and plugged, and drinking from my puppy bowl. Still got Mistress Charlotte’s property locked away, unable to be touched. Especially with working from home, I’ve realised just how much I casually masturbate when I’m in the house. I’m not, to be clear, sitting there jerking off all day, I do actually do my work. But the number of times I would’ve reached down and just casually touched is more than I probably would’ve thought. Just as well I’m in chastity, eh? I need to be saved from my own impurity, these damn wandering hands. With the dick itself not really an option, I tend to go for the balls instead – either just absent-mindedly touching, or giving them a proper squeeze instead. Nothing too intense, but just enough to hurt a little, get the blood pumping. CBT is yet another thing on the list of “things I didn’t think I’d be into”, but I have to admit, I have quite enjoyed it when it’s come up in Mistress’s more interactive hypnosis sessions. And even then, I don’t think I’m much a fan of the, uh, “C” part. (Not that that’s possible right now anyway, thank you chastity.)

But just a squeeze, that consistent pressure, slowly increasing until it hurts, just a little. And then (perhaps not while I’m still working) a few light-to-medium slaps, or punches – again, nothing serious, nothing that’d make me double over or anything. Just enough to generate that ache that sits in the bottom of my heart, that curls up and takes residence in my belly. The ache which I kind of hate – it’s pain, after all – and yet, I kind of love, too. I don’t tend to think of myself as liking pain? But I thoroughly enjoyed my spanking. Nipple clamps are pretty fun. And now this!

When you’re deprived of pleasurable touch and it’s the only physical stimulus you have, you learn to live with it, I suppose. That, or I start fucking myself with a dildo more often. That’s not in chastity, after all – and doesn’t it just seem so much more fitting for a slut to get their pleasure from being filled? I think so. Thanks for reading.

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