Mailbag Pre-Review (Resolutions, Day 77)

So! At the time of writing, I have three packages on the way to my address. One is a recent order, one is a VERY recent order, and the other is inCREDIBLY old. You probably know about the first two, I’ve mentioned them both on Twitter, but let’s go over the whole thing, yeah? Why not.


Now, first on the docket is not particularly sexy, or indeed even kink-related at all. It is, in fact, the Limited Run Games K.O. Edition of the Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World game! Otherwise known as the “you paid WAY too much money for this” edition. And, yeah, if I’d ordered this the other day, I’d agree with you. But, in reality, I placed this order back in- January 2021?!?! Good grief, I did NOT realise it had been that long. Anyway, they finally let me know the other day that it was on its way, so I’m excited! The game itself was completely unplayable for a while – it was only available on digital storefronts, and when they delisted it for some reason there was no way to acquire it. So when this fancy version popped up I knew I wanted it – I love the comics and the movie, so this should be fun. I expect it’ll still be at least a few weeks out though. Boo.

Second up is a much more interesting parcel to all of you – the fruits of my recent trip to ExtremeRestraints.com. I had planned to do my kinky shopping on some local sites, given they were having a sale, but that all went out the window when 1) their prices still weren’t that good, and 2) they didn’t have the one thing I was looking for, after Mistress Charlotte suggested it:

Well, technically one site did have a metal one, but it was also like $300 and that’s simply not possible for me atm. So I went to good ol Extreme Restraints! Despite being US-based (I think?) their shipping is surprisingly cheap and fast, and their selection is just ridiculous. Fun fact – this is also where I got my chastity cage, puppy hood and tail, slut paddle, slutty temporary tattoos… I could do a lot of shopping there, let me tell you. So, naturally I ordered a humbler – and then, I was browsing around, wondering what else would be fun for Mistress, but I just couldn’t think of anything in particular. In the end I went with getting myself another dildo – I believe it’s the same size and model as the one I have? 9 inches long, although this one has balls! Exciting. I was thinking that a spitroasted slut would be fun, but Mistress had another idea – I suspect I may be training myself to take a double stuffing sometime soon. Pity I didn’t go shopping after we had the chat where she locked me up – I could’ve gotten a tunnel plug! Ah well, there’s always next time. And the time after that – the journey of trying new perversions never ends… They haven’t told me that it’s shipped yet, so it may not end up getting here this week – fingers crossed though!

And finally, the most recent order – one I placed today, in fact! I did mention this one on Twitter, but – it’s an order of embroidery supplies! Stranded thread, needles, fabric scissors, some linen, a wash off fabric maker, and a little embroidery hoop. Cute! This is all for a task Mistress gave me a while back, which I’m unfortunately only just now getting around to. See, it’s not just enough for a malewife to cook, and clean, and be an attractive piece of eye-candy for her to return home to after a long day’s work in the office. There are plenty of other wifey skills I need to master – and first on the block is embroidery. She gave me a few ideas for designs – something with a nice flowery border, and maybe one of those corny little phrases you’d associate with the stereotypical housewife. “Live, Laugh, Beg”, or maybe “Home Is Where The Slut Is”, or perhaps “A House Is Not A Home Without A Whore”. You know, normal stuff. So, that’ll be fun! This one should be getting here in the next few days – last ordered, first to arrive, how’s that fair?


Honestly, now that I’ve actually got the stuff on the way, I’m really looking forward to it – it’s not often that I pick up a new skill! Hopefully I take to it quickly – once I’ve got the basics down, she says, I may end up making a few wardrobe alterations to some shirts. Just a little nametag, you know, so they don’t get lost. And we all know what name I get called more than any other… Thanks for reading.

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