Another late Elden Ring night. It’s kind of surprising – despite being so hise, I’m not feeling that overwhelming sensation I’ve had in other big big open world games. Genuinely I think not being able to see the whole map to start out with, just piecing it together from maps of individual regions, helps a lot. Plus the fact that it’s not covered in, like, radio tower icons or “collect all the [x]” objectives. It’s just – hey, you see that big thing over there? Wonder what that is, huh? Better go over there and find out. And then you find a weird cave on the way, go in, find a miniboss, die to it over and over – that part of the Souls formula, at least, is unchanged.
It’s kind of interesting how different the ideas of “fake Domme” versus “fake sub” are. Fake Domme is such an overused term at this point that it really could mean anything you like – I tend to think of it as referring to the Dommes that occasionally show up in my DMs saying “Hello slave” with no preamble, getting to know one another – or even reading my bio where I pretty clearly state that I’m happily owned. To some real shitters, “fake Domme” basically means a Domme that doesn’t so exactly what they want – and for free, too. Obviously all pro Dommes are fake, if they were real they wouldn’t charge money for it, they’d just dominate me exactly to my specifications for the love of the game! This has always been an obviously insane stance to take, and it only really gets worse when you even slightly look into it – of course pro Dommes love domination, how could they not? They’re literally doing it for a living! And even from this side of the D/s slash, I can tell you that it’s not the easy money some people claim it to be – the amount of shit they have to put up with just to do their jobs is unreal. Which is why their services come at a well-deserved premium!
Fake subs, though, are all too real. In fact, if you’re a Domme with a social media presence, check your replies (and, I suspect, your DMs). Much like crabs scuttling under a rock, the common or garden fake sub thrives in these habitats, making a beeline to them whenever possible. Once their presence has been established, they make themselves known by announcing that they would love to be your slave, and to prove it they’ll, idk, eat their cum for you or something. Or, if you’re lucky, they’ll offer themselves up to you forever, to be constantly under your control. You’d get to manage their orgasms, tell them what to do, maybe keep them on a leash – sorry, what’s that? You’re asking what they’ll actually do to benefit your existence?
Will they perhaps support you financially? (No, probably not.)
Will they offer up their services to help you in other ways, then? (Also no.)
Well, ok, but will they at least put your desires first, above their own? (…did you read the bit about the cum eating?)
Look, I get it, but also – if your idea of submission is telling a Domme what to do to you, that’s… either roleplay or just straight up pornography, I can’t quite tell. Try having an actual conversation, before jumping straight to “do this to me I am slave”, yeah? And for the love of God, don’t waste their time. If they have a DM fee listed, pay it. If they have a preferred chat platform, use it. Try and make a good first impression, instead of just “please GODDESS I am your weak and pathetic slave please tell me how to stroke and fulfil these specific fetishes”. Or, God forbid, a dick pic. Thanks for reading.