Resolutions, Day 52

Uhhhhhhhhh I can’t be bothered picking out a recommended listening link today. Just… keep going with ALIVE 2007, I suppose.

So, I’ve been watching a playthrough (no commentary, for which I am eternally thankful) of Twilight Princess, in lieu of being able to play it myself. You know, the Zelda game where you get turned into a big bad wolf, literally ridden around and bossed about by a tiny demoness, and essentially forced to be her servant, for a while anyway. I played the HELL out of this during some pretty formative years – I wonder if it had any effects on me? Probably not, right? It’s not like I’m currently owned by a petite Mistress or anything.

It has been making me think, weirdly, about how non-mainstream kink really is. Not just acting on it, not just putting it into practice, but even the kinky desires themselves it feels like? Like, there’s a scene early on where Midna (the diminutive demoness riding on your back (or hiding in your shadow)) tells you that if you want to get your friends back, you’ll have to co-operate with her orders – which, she says, means you’ll essentially be her servant. And I guess the idea is supposed to be that that’s, y’know, bad. But, I mean… Hello? I’m not seeing a lot of downsides here. I get what I’m looking for, AND I get to obey? It all sounds pretty great to me. Besides, they don’t even really stay antagonistic for too long before becoming pretty good friends – or more than friends, at least according to my 13-year old shipping brain. Who, admittedly, did not know a lot – but I think he was pretty bang on with that one.

Going back to the kink, though – it really does make me wonder… If there’s no mainstream rep for these things, male submission in particular here, how do we find out we like it? I suppose a lot of it will genuinely be things like this, right? You see, or read, a character acting a certain way, and it just… makes you start wondering about things, right? I don’t think I ever had the conscious thought of “god I wish Midna would tell ME what to do”, but perhaps it actually did do something to my brain? There’s no real way of knowing, I suppose, but it really does make me think. I sort of wonder now if looking up random hypno files on 4chan really was my first intro to realising I liked femdom? Again, there’s no real way to know – those memories are long gone now – but I could imagine there being a certain cartoon, or TV show, that started some little gears whirring in my head.

The world, I feel, is not designed to promote male submission. It’s tough for me to say, already being so immersed in it now, but it seems like it would be difficult to get exposed to it if you didn’t already know about it, y’know? Even in kink spaces, so much stuff is marketed with women as the default submissives, which is… well, a lot of things, but I’m going to go with “dumb” for starters. In my local sex store, for instance, there’s shelves upon shelves of 50 Shades-inspired merchandise, all designed to make you a “good” “Master” for your “slave”. It’s all relatively tame, compared to what you could find in more kink-specific shops online, but if you go to the “bondage” section – it’s pages and pages of fluffy handcuffs, blindfolds, nipple clamps, and ball gags. All of which are beautifully modelled by, well, women. I’m not saying femsubs don’t exist, of course; I’m also not saying malesubs can’t use any of the things I listed, obviously they can. And there ARE strap-ons and such advertised too! But they really make it seem like femsub is the default, and outside of simply not being true, I think the lack of representation sucks, for both new dommes AND new malesubs.

But, you know what? I’m here anyway, aren’t I? And so is Mistress Charlotte, and so are her friends, and so are you. We all made it, didn’t we? I guess it can’t be that bad. Thanks for reading.

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