Resolutions, Day 48

Recommended listening: Hmm, let’s go with… Ah, I got nothing for today. Come back tomorrow?

Hope you’re having a good weekend, wherever you are! Mine was, perhaps predictably, rather quiet. I watched some YouTube, played some video games, washed some clothes and some brains… Did a little grocery shopping, picked a vacuum cleaner that I was supposed to pick up before my apartment inspection earlier in the week, but they didn’t have it ready for me to pick up even though I ordered it a week in advance, so I had to borrow my friend’s- ahem. But yeah, other than that, I haven’t really been up to much! Weekends are pretty quiet for me in general these days – unless someone invites me to do something, I’m unlikely to set something up myself tbh. I just feel like my place isn’t really set up very well for entertaining – it suits me perfectly fine, but any more than, like, one person… might be a bit of an issue.

I’ve enjoyed that my past couple blogs have managed to keep the thread of hornyposting going – and I’d like to keep that up today, even if I don’t have a specific topic in mind.

I was thinking earlier about the nature of my submission, and how lucky I am – not to be owned, I know full well that had nothing to do with luck! It’s the product of the combined efforts of both Mistress Charlotte and myself, and I’m grateful for it every day. No, the reason I think I’m lucky is, believe it or not, the time I was born in! Seriously – if it weren’t for the internet, I don’t know if I ever would’ve picked up on my desire to submit. I mean, obviously I don’t know, that would be a completely different life as a completely different person, but you know what I mean. I’d never have found out about this one hypnotic Mistress on the other side of the world, or even the concept of erotic hypnosis at all! And more than that, I’d never have realised how many other submissive men there were out there. Hell, I wouldn’t’ve even realised I was one of them! It’s obviously a huge part of my life now, but at least as far as I can recall, there wasn’t really much of anything in my early / “offline” life that would’ve led me towards discovering my submission.

I’d probably be really into, like, rugby or something. Or carpentry, or getting drinks with the boys, something stereotypical. And maybe, every once in a while, I’d feel like something was… missing. Like something just wasn’t quite right. Maybe I’d kneel down to tie a shoelace or something and suddenly feel the urge to just stay down there. Perhaps I’d see a woman walking a dog and feel a pang in my heart, my brain not knowing why, while my subconscious is fully aware it should be me in the collar and leash. I just think… it’s sad. That somewhere out there, in some alternate timeline, there’s an alternate slut who doesn’t even know he’s meant to be a slut. Who, maybe, doesn’t even know he can submit to women, has never heard that submission is good and true and real. And maybe there’s some great thing he’s got going on that I’ve got no clue about – but from where I’m standing, I pity the poor bastard.

And, like, jokiness aside – I really am grateful to have stumbled upon this little community of like-minded weirdos. I know kinky people have existed for as long as, well, there have been people – but personally, I don’t know how or if I’d have ever gotten into the scene without the internet. As I’m sure more kink-educated people than me have commented on a million times – you really don’t see much in the way of male submission in the mainstream world. It’s slowly spreading – I hear good things about Love & Leashes on Netflix, for instance – but even then, I’d be unlikely to see something like that and assume it was ever possible to do in my own life. Frankly, I still get a bit like that now – I look back over things I’ve done with Mistress Charlotte, things we’ve said, photos from my in-person session with a domme – it does kind of amaze me to see how far I’ve come. And I’m always looking forward to how far I’ll go. Thanks for reading.

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