Recommended listening: Sexualizer, by Perturbator.
Happy Valentine’s Day! A day for romance, for affection, for displays of love above all else. And, yes, it could be argued that it’s – more than anything – been massively commercialised, and corrupted, and turned into a vehicle for selling chocolates, and flowers, and heart-shaped everythings. And, well, yeah, that’s pretty true. But it’s also not very fun, y’know? So let’s just focus more on the love side, just for a little while.
For what is truly more romantic, loving, affectionate than D/s? For both sides of the slash, too. To give over all of yourself to another person – to take in your hands all of somebody else. It’s… sweet. And it’s a lot of other things too, of course, it’s sexy and filthy and hot as hell when you want it to be. And yes, we dress it up with latex and rubber, and masked dominatrices locking up their adoring slaves, teasing them, torturing them for their mutual amusement. But at its core, at the centre of it all – it’s beautiful, isn’t it?
“Here I am; here is all of me, I present it up to you to do with as you please; I give my control freely to you, for it looks so much prettier in your hands.”
“I am here; I will take all that you are, and I will mould you to be better and brighter, and you will blossom beneath my will; both of us, exactly where we should be.”
It’s… trust, you know? It’s trusting that the person you pour yourself into will be there for you – it’s trusting that the person placing themselves in your control won’t just disappear once they’ve gotten their rocks off. I know there’s a lot said about dommes being responsible for their subs, on account of them being the ones in control, and of course there’s a lot of truth in that – but dommes are still vulnerable, too, y’know? They’re putting their own trust out there as well, and when they get treated like a, uh, kink dispenser, it’s gotta feel pretty shitty. As with a lot of things – it goes both ways. So, if you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with a Domme, in any capacity – take care of her. Just don’t be a dick, I guess? This kinda got distracted from what I originally thought it was going to be.
I know there’s an infinity of different types of BDSM out there, and I know that my fancy little words don’t even begin to describe a lot of them, but… Idk! That’s just the thoughts going through my head. I’m also not trying to say that, like, every Domme /sub arrangement needs to be built on purest true love or anything (although the ones that are do look like they’re pretty great, just saying). Obviously there’s going to be a lot of lust involved, that’s a given, not that there’s anything wrong or “un-love” about that either… I don’t know what I’m saying. I think I just wanted to say some fluffy little words about love and submission.
If you’re reading this – go buy a Domme a bouquet of flowers. If you are a Domme – treat yourself! Or treat a sub, or don’t do anything! I’m sure as hell not going to tell you what to do. Thanks for reading, though.