Resolutions, Day 40

Recommended listening: Black Plant, from Age of the Understatement, by The Last Shadow Puppets.

Got paper cuts from the love letters you never gave him
Could not meet your new-found needs for misbehaving
Why, why would you say sorry?
Oh, why would you, why would you say?

Well, shit. I did say this one would end up being horny – but I’ve left it WAY too late now for my brain to be anything other than dead tired. If you’re reading this, and you’d like me to do something to make up for that, let me know! Although, in truth, I suspect that you aren’t. Which is fine – like I said, I don’t consider these to be very good myself, and if I wasn’t writing them, I don’t think I’d read them either. But it does make it a bit harder to drum up the motivation to, uh, write them, when I know they’re not being read.

Does that make me a bad slave? Not bad perhaps, but comparatively worse? Not particularly wanting to obey an order I’ve been given – and approved by Mistress, even – just because I’m not getting attention from it? Well, I don’t know, and frankly it’s probably not for me to judge. I don’t think it’s really the lack of attention that’s the issue, though – if people were actually reading these, I don’t think I’d be enjoying them much more. And I doubt the quality would be much improved – which means I’d actually feel worse about knowing that people were subjecting themselves to these weird rants, summaries of how my days have been, occasional talk about video games and very occasional horny posting.

…look, if you are reading this, then I’m really sorry. This can’t be fun to read – it’s not exactly a thrill to write, either – but I’m really tired and I just want to get something down so I can say I did it. I know that’s not in the spirit of the New Year’s resolution, but – like I said, tired. I need to start blocking out time a bit earlier in the day, while I still have slut energy left to turn into horny words to write down. It’s all an exact science, you see.

In some actual slut news – I’ve been trying to take some slutty photos and put them up on Twitter. I don’t think they’ll be a daily thing – as you can clearly tell, I tend to run out of ideas for things very quickly – but if I think up a fun pose or some such that I’d like to show off, you can expect to see it up there.

That’s me!

I’ve still been thinking a lot about femdom during this two-month “no spending on kink” period – and while I’ve adjusted somewhat to my new budget, I just don’t know if there’s going to be enough left over to have a decent kink fund. I know Mistress has told me before that the size of the tribute is not necessarily as important as I might think it is, but… It’s still important to some extent, right? Exchange rates really aren’t helping my case in that field either – if I had, say, a budget of 100NZD a week to spend on kink, in pounds that’s only about £50 – which isn’t really all that much, is it? But, these are discussions we’ll have to have when the two months is up, I suppose.

…I do miss chatting with Mistress Charlotte, obvious truth be told. I know it’s not fair to expect her to give me her already limited time and attention for free – and, of course, I don’t expect her to do that, just so we’re absolutely clear. This situation isn’t a surprise to me, and to be honest I’m incredibly grateful that she’s been as lovely about all of this as she has. I just, I don’t know, wish it could be different. I wish I done things differently in the past – no sense dwelling on it though, I know, I know.

We’ll see I suppose – here’s hoping I get a massive raise sometime soon! Thanks for reading.

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