Resolutions, Day 35

No recommended listening today – I haven’t been playing much music this weekend on account of, uh, barely leaving the house – once I start walking to work again I’m sure I’ll have some proper bangers in mind to share.

Day 35! Thirty-five days of writing these things. Honestly I’ve not been overly impressed with a lot of them – it’s tough to think of things to write about every single day, and I think that’s shown in the quality of both topics chosen and the writing in general. Luckily, however, nobody is reading them! (If you are reading this right now, sorry! It’s not an insult, that’s just what the blog stats tell me.) I’m pretty much fine with that, though. I don’t blame them! I probably wouldn’t read these either. Not in a self-deprecation, “these are too shite for anyone to read” way – a lot of them just don’t make for great reading, I feel. Some of them are sexy, sure, but a lot of the others are just “here’s what I did today” or talking about Kingdom Hearts or whatever.

That’s ok, though. I’m not writing these because I want people to read them – I’m just writing them… to write them, I guess. Because a pretty lady told me to. To take a solid thirty minutes and dedicate it to writing, no matter how dumb it turns out. If that’s the case, though, then why share them? Why post them all on the blog and tweet out the links? Surely it should be enough to just do the writing? And yeah, it probably would. But truth be told, I think that if I didn’t have the consequence of “somebody might notice I didn’t tweet out writing for today”… I probably would’ve just stopped by now.

I don’t dislike writing – far from it! But I’ve never had to do this much, this often, this consistently before. It was always something I did like, once a week, often with a topic already set out by Mistress Charlotte. Having to come up with something every day – well, you’ve already seen how that’s gone (not great imo).

Anyway, enough whining – let’s at least get SOME sluttiness in here, eh? I took some fun gag pictures and videos earlier this weekend – it’s nice to take the toys out and play with them every now and then, and it’s even more fun to be a slut and show them off. I really was drooling all over myself taking that picture! I still do love the idea of a gag that doesn’t actually muffle any sound at all, just turns words into whorish little moans. Plus it has the added bonus of leaving your mouth stuck wide open – practically begging to be played with and touched, filled with whatever Mistress feels like putting in there. No control, no choice for me – I’m powerless to do anything but just sit there and let it happen. (I’m also just powerless in general.)

There was a brief moment today that I really enjoyed. I had just gotten up to get a drink, Mistress Charlotte’s brainwashing words still playing on repeat, reverberating throughout the house. I got some water from the fridge, and sank to my knees to lap it up from my bowl – but it was so cold I had to take a break in the middle of drinking. So, for a while, I just knelt there, next to the couch, her collar around my neck, watching TV from my place on the floor. It felt so wonderfully domestic – I could just imagine Mistress Charlotte sitting on the sofa behind me, fingers running absent-mindedly through my hair. And me, her puppy (Not allowed on the couch!) – sitting, or napping there, leash tied around one of the legs of the couch to ensure I’m always within arm’s reach. Just… hers. Not to torture, or debase, or mindfuck (although those would all certainly come later) – just something for her to play with, to enjoy feeling beneath her fingers.

…I’m so lucky to be hers. I know it’s not luck, not really – she didn’t pick my name out of a hat, I didn’t throw a dart at a wheel of Dommes – but it’s just brought me so much joy, so much pleasure. I hope I’ve been able to do the same for her – the same for you, Mistress. Thanks for reading.

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