Resolutions, Day 33

Today’s recommended listening: Nantes, from The Flying Club Cup, by Beirut.

Well it’s been a long time, a long time now,
Since I’ve seen you smile,
And I’ll gamble away my fright,
And I’ll gamble away my time.

Well, today was absolutely grey, wet, and miserable from start to finish. Weather-wise, that is – personally I had a great time. Mostly I’ve been sitting on the couch, alternating between reading, watching stuff on TV, and playing some video games! The perfect start to a long weekend.

Except, well, it wasn’t exactly how I started the day. I was lying in bed when I saw that Mistress Charlotte had made a new post on her Loyalfans! She had posted Action/Reaction as an audio file – and, while she’d intended it as some relaxing Friday night listening (time zones!), I thought it’d work equally well as a lovely way to kick off the day. Plus, it’s been an age or two since I’d listened to it, and it’s always a pleasure to go back and revisit some older files.

So I got up, briefly, to grab my headphones from where I’d left them on the couch, and went to go lay on my head, ready to lose my mind for Mistress. I was already undressed, but I made sure to lie on top of my duvet and sheets – it had been a while, but I still distinctly remembered this session being particularly… interactive. Wouldn’t want anything to get in the way, y’know? To be honest, it’d been a while since I’d listened to much hypno at all, never mind just this file, so I really was looking forward to leaving everything else behind – thoughts, control, free will – and once again becoming a submissive, obedient little toy for Mistress to play with.

Unsurprisingly, it was an absolute delight. If you haven’t listened to it before, I’d absolutely recommend it – and, as I’ve mentioned, it’s just one little subscription to Mistress Charlotte away! This alone is more than worth the price of admission! Like I said, it’s a rather interactive file, with a little self-inflicted pain of the pinching, slapping, and pinching varieties. So if that’s not your thing, then yeah, I’d recommend staying away. But for me, it was really nice. I’ve missed being on my elbows and knees, forehead pressed into the floor, ass pointed high into the air, ready to be taken. Sure, I’ve incidentally been in a similar pose every time I’ve taken a drink over the past few months – but it’s not quite the same as intentionally putting myself into slut position, for the sole purpose of administering some well-needed self-spanking.

And honestly, I’d be lying if I said the little bit of squeezing didn’t put me in the mindspace for CBT throughout the rest of the day. Like I said, it was constantly raining all day, so there weren’t many people walking past the sliding door in the lounge – and more often than not I found a hand subconsciously sliding into my pants for a bit of squeezing, slapping fun. Nothing too intense! Sure, it’s not quite the same as having someone line up a few kicks (I assume? I wouldn’t know) but sometimes you just need a little bit of that specific, deep ache. Sometimes it’s fun to suffer for someone else’s pleasure! Even if they’re not actually there.

I think that’s the main draw here, really. Sure, it’s fun to do things to yourself for their own sake. But when you add on the angle of not just doing the things, but doing what you’re told – not for the pleasure of doing them, but for the amusement of your Mistress – it’s just… better. And that’s just for the things that feel good – the touching and what have you. When it’s squeezing and pinching, when it hurts, to go on hard as yourself as you know that she would – and you do it anyway, because she wants you to. Because it would make her smile, to see you like this. To act and react according to her wishes. That’s the good stuff, right there.

Anyway, that was my day. I hope you enjoyed yours! I can strongly recommend adding some hypnotic fun to things – whether from the giving or the receiving end. Thanks for reading.

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