One Month On

So, if you read my post on House Rules a couple weeks ago, you know that I’ve been living even deeper under Mistress Charlotte’s control recently. She issued me with a set of five lovely rules, to obey whenever I’m at home. I’ve been under them for about a month now, so I thought I’d do a bit of a three-part blog post – firstly looking into the new rule Mistress gave me last week, then talking about my new life has been for me – and then, possibly because today is Laundry Day, I’d like to go in a little deeper on the brainwashing loops I’ve been listening to.

To summarise, though, in case you missed the original post – here are The Rules.

  1. You will wear your collar at home, always, excepting to sleep, bathe, or entertain guests.
  2. You will obtain a large dog bed. You will sleep in it on Friday nights. You may sleep in it on other nights if you wish.
  3. Cold drinks will be taken from a bowl on the floor, like a lowly slave.
  4. You will select one day each week to be laundry day. On that day, you will play brainwashing loops from morning to night, aloud.
  5. You will plug your sluthole a minimum of one hour per day, every day.

And now, the new rule:

Wednesdays are now designated as Commando Day.

Now, I’m pretty certain you all know exactly what that means. But, for clarity’s sake, I’ll go into the slutty details for you. It means that wearing underwear on a Wednesday is strictly forbidden. Not on the walk to work, the slight chafing feeling scattering my mind with sensation. Not while sitting at my desk, surrounded by people, acting like I’m not a massive slut. Not when I’m walking home in the afternoon – each little movement, every slightest friction, reminding me exactly how depraved I am, and how much I love it. And CERTAINLY not once I’m back home again, collared and plugged, kneeling in my place on the floor, where I belong.

This is something I’ve done for Mistress Charlotte a few times before in the past, and honestly? It’s a LOT more of a thrill than I remembered. I’ve only obeyed this rule once so far, but I’ll definitely be looking forward to all the Wednesdays to come, now. It’s an addictive kind of pleasure – part exhibitionism, part risky adrenaline, all sluttery. The kind of pleasure where it’s always in the back of your mind – where you can’t do much of anything without thinking “hey, I’m being kind of a whore right now”. It’s also a nice way of doing something public-esque without getting people involved in something they didn’t consent to, which is nice. As far as they know, I’m just a normal guy – they have no idea that every step is causing a miniature shock of pleasure as slutty, sensitive skin rubs up against rough fabric, my mind short-circuiting until I can get home and resume my true life, as her slave.

Now, into the other stuff. How have these rules been treating me over the past month?

Well, so far, it’s been an absolute delight to follow Mistress Charlotte’s rules. That… probably doesn’t come as much surprise – I certainly thought I would enjoy them when she first broached the topic, even before any of the actual details were nailed down. But the extent to which I’m enjoying them is actually much more than I expected.

Take Rule #1, for instance – I am to be collared at home, always. If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ve probably noticed my recent tweets about how being constantly collared has affected me. Ah, here’s a couple now:

So… yeah. I’m so used to being collared now that I’m walking out the door without even thinking about it. It just feels so natural, now, to slip it on when I get up in the morning, and again when I get home after work. Much like going commando – that grip around my neck is a constant reminder (uh, when I remember it, that is) that I am owned. Property. Slave. An obedient little puppy for my Mistress.

Rule 2 (to sleep in a dog bed on Friday nights) is still having some logistics issues – I still need to determine exactly what I’m going to get that’ll fit a VERY large puppy. My parents have said they’ve got a spare rug I might be able to have, so that might work? I’ll see if they can bring it with them next time they come up. Anyway, in lieu of that, I’ve still been sleeping on a duvet on the floor each Friday. It really puts me in the mindset of a good slave – to have this big, lovely bed I could be sleeping in, and willing choosing my place on the floor instead, because that’s what Mistress Charlotte wants. And I only want what she wants. My thoughts, wants, needs, desires – they’re unimportant. Irrelevant. Only obedience, only submission. Always. All ways.

Rule 3 (cold drinks will be taken from a bowl on the floor) I’m REALLY enjoying. I mentioned this in my original post, but there’s just so many little angles to it that really activate that slave-brain of mine. The fact that I have to decant drinks from their perfectly good containers (can, bottle, etc.) in order to drink them. The fact that I’m using a man-sized dog bowl. The fact that the ideal drinking position has me on my hands and knees, slutty ass pointed high in the air. It’s just… So, so good.

Rule 4 I’ll do separately, because I want to go in deep on the brainwashing loops.

So, instead, Rule 5 (my sluthole must be plugged for an hour a day, every day). I love that it’s become such a basic part of my routine – get home, collar on, change out of work clothes, stuff that hole full, change into comfy lounging around clothes. I adore the feeling of it just slipping into place inside me, that slightly burning stretch as it enters my body, filling me up in just the right way. Like a puzzle piece I didn’t know I was missing. Occasionally I’ll go out for a walk with it still inside, although that often turns into a less fun kind of burn. Still, it’s a great way of getting a little training in, one day at a time.

And now, the main event. The reason I decided to do this blog in the first place. I realised earlier today that I’ve listened to Mistress Charlotte’s Project Trance-Formation – the name once given to the collection of Dismantled, Blackout, Overdrive, and Whole – so, so, so many times. Especially, recently, on Laundry Day(s). And yet I don’t think I’ve ever really written anything about them! So, let’s fix that, shall we?

Firstly, though – Rule 4 (one day each week will be laundry day – on that day, play brainwashing loops from morning to night, out loud) in general. If you have the space / living arrangements for it, it’s a REALLY fun experience. Each brainwashing loop (at least, the ones I have) is around 10-15 minutes long, so you’re bound to hear them over and over again throughout the day. They really do just sink into the background – whether I’m doing actual laundry, or watching something, or just lying around on the couch – they’re always there. Impossible to ignore, impossible to deny. I can hear my Mistress telling me these dark truths about myself on infinite loop, and I have no choice but to just… let them in.

Now, first in the line-up is Dismantled. This one in particular really throws a few particularly lovely truths at me straight away. There’s no denying it – I need to be ordered around, and bossed about, on a deep and fundamental level. This is my life now, who I am… What I am. And, honestly, even if I wanted to, even if I could try to – they’re pretty tough to disagree with. I’ve never wanted much for power, or control – and now that I have neither, now that Mistress is the one calling all the shots in my life, now that I have been taken apart, and had those extraneous things removed, I know without a doubt that obedience and submission suit me much better.

Blackout is… an interesting one. I know it’d be a funny joke to have my talk about the amnesia-based file be “hm, I don’t remember listening to this one”, but – every time I’ve tried to pick out a bit of a file throughout the day and thought “oh, this must be from Blackout” it usually ends up being from one of the other three! One part I do very vividly remember, though, is the idea of being useful for another person, being remade into something beautiful, to be what they desire. Considering how often I find myself fantasising about this exact situation (it’s constantly), I have to assume that whatever Blackout’s doing to me, it’s doing it well. And I need more of it.

“Slut…. It’s not a strong enough word to describe you.” I mean, that just says it all, really. I just adore Overdrive. Why resist those deep feelings inside, those animal urges, that crave pleasure, and ache for the bliss of control? Submission is an addiction, and I feed it willingly, eagerly, desperately, every day of my life. I will always obey my Mistress – any order, any demand, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. No act I wouldn’t perform for her pleasure. Because it’s what she wants. Because it’s what I NEED. Mindless obedience is my drug of choice – it’s the perfect fate for a horny little slut like me. Mistress really just says it all in this one – my cock rules my mind.

And then, last but certainly not least, we’ve got Whole. Fun fact: when these sessions were first released, I actually gave this one a wide berth. Would you believe I didn’t think I was into anal? I couldn’t have known, back then, that I’d turn out to be such a whore for it. Now, of course, I ache to be filled, stuffed full, stretched wide and sloppy around something thick and solid. This is why the daily sluthole-plugging is so important – so I can keep myself ready for anybody who wants to use me. With my Mistress’s permission, naturally – it’s her property, after all.

Whole really does go deep (ha) into how much a slut like me NEEDS this, though. It makes it incredibly clear – this is no mere idle thought, or passing fantasy. This is reality for me. And not just Whole – all of these loops are accurate descriptions of my life, now. I crave to be dismantled, taken apart, to have my power and control removed entirely. I ache to black out, to be remade into something that better pleases my owner. I can feel my sluttery put into overdrive every day, as I feed that hungry, driving force inside me with everything that I have. And, of course, I need that needy little hole of mine filled up whenever possible. This is just who I am. And I embrace it with my whole heart.

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