Mindfuck by Proxy

So, I talk a lot about general sluttery on here, for obvious reasons. I mean, it’s in the name of the blog, for goodness’ sake! But despite hypnosis being such a big part of my kink DNA, I feel like I haven’t written all that much about it. So let’s change that!

Specifically, we’ll be talking about a hypno-related task from my beloved Mistress, who also suggested it as a subject for this blog! Isn’t she lovely? ❤

It all began with a simple request from Mistress – to create my very own animated spiral. No cheating, no altering an existing one, nothing copyrighted. Completely from scratch. I’m sure you know the type – spinny, hypnotic, “you are feeling veeery sleeeepy” – you’ve probably seen them a thousand times, even in vanilla stuff. I’ve never really had much to do with them, as someone whose hypno diet is usually audio-only – but this sounded like it could be fun! One tiny, wee, little question though – how on earth do you even start?

As with many things, the answer lay with Google. I set out and searched “how to make a hypnotic spiral”, and with a short video to guide my way, decided the best thing to do would be to get a 7-day free trial of After Effects. (Which I really must remember to cancel before it charges me – I’m all for findom, don’t get me wrong, but Adobe tends to take it a bit too far!)

Anyway, I got it all downloaded and installed and what have you, and opened up After Effects. I’m not, like, an editor, or a video maker, or anything like that, so I pretty much had no idea what I was doing. But the tutorial was kind enough to walk me through it (by which I mean, I rewound it over and over until I figured out which incomprehensible button they were clicking on to make the thing do the thing), and by the end I had it down pretty well! I even made a few little extra touches of my own – a fade-in and fade-out at the start and end, a little hypno-y drone music as a backing track, even a second, lower-opacity spiral spinning in reverse in the background. And, not to toot my own horn, but I think it actually turned out pretty well!

I made this! Me! Not such a dumb slut after a- oh? What’s that? I still am? Well, that’s fine too.

So I sent it on to my Mistress, not even suspecting she had anything more than that in mind – I assumed that doing something because she said to was its own reward (and it is, FYI 🥰). I was told I did MUCH better than she expected (those words every slave wants to hear!) and then she let me know her grander purpose for it.

See, all this time, she’s been doing all the hard work of fucking my mind to pieces, and frankly I should start doing my part. Having such a fuckable mind is one thing, of course, but it’s time I help out in a more concrete sense. Or, in her words:

Hot. Wait, should that be hot? Well, it is.

But, there was a catch. I’d just taken my chastity cage off that morning, and (with permission) had been leaving it off for 24 hours, on account of things feeling a little sensitive. So with that in mind, Mistress specified the following – whatever file I chose had to be something involving stroking. I was to follow any and all instructions, short of orgasm.

Now, normally, maybe that’s not so bad. I’m used to the lack of orgasm at this point (denial is so much better for a slave), so the fact that I would have no release wasn’t a problem in itself. But having been mostly in chastity for the past… nearly two months? With practically no touching? My pleasure tolerance was at an all-time low – I would have to be careful around this slutty dick.

On Mistress Charlotte’s recommendation (although I probably would’ve ended up going with it anyway) I decided my session choice would be Femme Fatalism. It’s pretty much an eternal classic for me – one of the first of her files I ever heard, it’s got a lot of elements I still love to hear: plenty of “slut” and “slave”, themes of obedience and lack of control, fantasies of hearing my Mistress whisper my own dirty secrets into my ear… It’s still very, very good, and the fact that you can listen to it for free (right now!) is astonishing. Would it be too much for my little slut brain? There was only one way to find out…

So I got everything set up – lights dimmed, chair leant back, and most importantly… Spirals in stereo.

Forgive the messy desk.

Then I made my own preparations – loosened clothes, locked doors, closed curtains. And then… it was time to drop deep.

It’s SUCH a strange sensation, trancing with my eyes open. My mind is used to lying in bed, eyes closed as her words flow into my thoughts – to be sitting back, as I stare into a spiral taking me ever deeper, was a delightful new feeling. Again – it feels weird to talk myself up like this – I really did enjoy looking at that spiral. I could see all the slight weird movements due to the way I made it, the way the second spiral softly fades in, looking like the negative imprint something leaves on your eye if you stare at it too long. It made it that much harder to think, to concentrate… So much easier to just relax, and sink down, and immerse myself in my Mistress’s whispered words.

And then came the stroking. If you’ve never heard Femme Fatalism (and again, it IS free, and it IS lovely, you could listen to it RIGHT NOW) – the core conceit is simple, but effective. After taking you down into trance, Mistress takes your control and you obey, in a way that’s mostly pleasure (for her), and possibly pain (for you). You will stroke, as she tells you the joys of submission, how good it feels for both you and her, detailing fantasies of depravity, of you being used and abused, like a good little slut – and, should the inevitable climax come (ha), you will continue to stroke. (That’s where the pain bit comes in).

Reader, you may not be surprised to learn I didn’t hold out very long. That sudden sensation of touch and friction and just the slutty pleasure of it all… It’s been absent for a while (and with good reason, being chaste and denied is exactly as things should be for me), and to step back into it, with hushed tones bringing visions of the debased, whorish fantasies I crave, those hidden desires of wanton lust shining bright and clear in my mind… Well, let’s just say I was brought to the brink rather quickly. I had to slow way down a few times, even ripping my hand away once or twice when I felt things getting a bit TOO close…

Overall, I have to say it was a great new experience. It’s tough to be torn between the orders of Session-Mistress and Real-Mistress, though! Not in that I didn’t get to orgasm, denial is what a good slave needs, and I am nothing if not a good slave – but missing a chance to suffer through that sensory overload for her enjoyment is a bit unfortunate, even though the suffering I got instead was all still on her orders anyway. Perhaps one day I’ll listen with no fear of orgasm, and suffer in full, just because it pleases her. To feel the mind-blanking bliss of climax, each stroke better than the last as it happens… Only for the euphoria to drain away, replaced by its inverted self as the mechanical, rhythmic stroking continues on, controlled by a force much stronger than my own…. Mmm, shivers down my spine, I love it.

For now, though, essentially half an hour of edging, followed by being locked back up without release? Absolutely beautiful. A torturous, little bit agonising sort of beauty… But beauty all the same. And in the meantime – if any of this has struck a chord with you, I cannot strongly recommend checking it out for yourself enough (if you’re properly equipped for such a thing, of course). What’s the worst that could happen? A little pain? Trust me when I say – the joy of submission is well worth the price of admission.

Until next time! ❤

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