[Originally written on January 10th 2021]
I’ve mentioned this before, I think, but I’m always amazed how good it feels to hear you speaking these truths about myself. Even the simplest ones, like calling me a slut. Because it’s not just hot (although it IS hot) but it’s true! You say it is, and therefore it is, as far as I’m concerned. You’re not asking a question, or even posing an opinion – it’s a statement, a fact, a capital T Truth that you are putting out into the world. And even when I hear it in sessions recorded years before we met, it still feels like you’re speaking them directly to me. And I absolutely love it.
Overdrive is full of these, start to finish – but one in particular really stood out to me:
My cock rules my mind.
It sounds like something a woman could say to describe any man, or even men as a whole – and not inaccurately! But it feels deeper than that, to me. There’s no way that all men could be this addicted to pleasure, feel this need to submit. I mean, look at me – your collar tight around my neck, vibrator buzzing away inside me. This is a level beyond just constantly thinking about sex. This is desperate submission, needy obedience. This is addiction in its purest form – addiction to pleasure, and to slavery, and both those roads lead me back to you. There was no mind involved in these decisions, just a slutty slave cock.
And my cock belongs to you.
This, too, is a Truth. So therefore, you rule my mind.
…I mean, we’ve both known that for a long time, now. But it never gets less fun to think about.
Chaos Theory also ties into this – straight away it starts with another Truth:
My mind is completely gone already.
This, too, seems pretty obvious – again, just look at me – although it’s always such a nice thing to consider. But it’s the key message that’s really interesting:
Being horny makes me stupid.
And as soon as you say it, I realise just how True it really is. Jerking off at work (twice!) is not a smart thing to do. Wearing your collar in public is not a smart thing to do. But as soon as that little bit of arousal creeps into my brain – well, you said it yourself. My mind is gone already.
But, it’s not like my mind is destroyed, or deleted, or anything – I can still think (about sexy things), still act (in your service). It’s just… Not there. In your possession, as though you’ve physically taken that which belongs to you. And with no mind to worry about, no pesky thoughts other than those of white-hot lust, of soft flesh and pretty lingerie and that ever-present need, I can focus my entire existence on doing that which I was made for – submitting, obeying, being a good little slave for Mistress. Besides, if my mind were still here, I’d be making the same decisions anyway – so why not just remove it from the process and become truly mindless for you? No point having a slave who can think independently, question orders, act of his own “free will”. I know you like me best when I am empty and mindless, unable to disobey, a dumb little whore – and I will always do what you like best.
Because my mind is yours to do with as you please.
You know it, and so I know it, and so it is True.
And finally, A Place Beneath. There are so many Truths you can tell me about myself here, I hardly know where to begin:
My mind is aching for a good deep fuck.
I exist to serve and provide pleasure to women.
I will always be below women when it comes to my needs and desires. They do not, cannot, matter more than yours.
My cock makes me weak.
I have no power, no control.
I have no use other than as a slave to women.
My pleasure is in service and submission.
This is what I was designed for.
It’s little wonder I completely fell in love with this session – it’s practically a blueprint for the slave I am today. It’s defined what I am, what I desire – and most importantly, where I belong. Beneath, below, on my knees at your feet. The feeling is incomparable – to know with absolute certainty that not only do I have a rightful place, somewhere I am meant to be, but that I am already there. My existence has a singular purpose, and by doing this thing that I love – by serving, and obeying, and submitting to your overwhelming power – I am constantly achieving that purpose. I live for your pleasure, I want only that which would make you happy. And it feels so good, not just thinking that myself, but hearing it confirmed from someone as superior as you. I will forever be grateful that you have shown me, made me, what I am.
All that I am belongs to you.
And I hope you take as much pleasure from these Truths as I do.