[Originally written on August 26th 2020]
There’s no shortage of moments where I’ve felt the power of your control. Listening to l’Objet d’Art with you, for instance – that was something special. Being unable to keep from moaning the pleasure I felt in knowing how much I could be useful to you? Brilliant. Or being ordered to jerk off in the workplace bathroom – truly the act of a wanton slut, no question.
But the first time I felt truly helpless and controlled by you… It would have to be the first time I wore your collar. Buying the thing was intense enough… I still recall my nerves as I walked into the sex shop – only to be told they didn’t have any! I’m sure he knew exactly how owned I was, when he suggested I get a dog collar instead. My heart was pounding when I bought it, knowing full well that the only pet it would be used on would be me.
When I put it on, though – it was such a change, like flipping a switch labelled “slave”. Feeling your grip so physically around my neck, as well as so hypnotically around my mind… It was like coming home. Like finding out where I was always meant to be. Knowing that I was reduced to a mere toy before you… That was when I truly realised that I could never hope to disobey. That even if I could, I would never want to escape.
And then the session itself! The combination of Hush and cock harness is always so delightful, and having you use it to serve your pleasure only intensifies everything about it. I was truly at your whim, unable and unwilling to control anything. I’ll never forget desperately trying to concentrate on small talk while you idly fucked my slutty ass to your heart’s content. The feeling of restraint in every gulp, every errant twitch of my cock… Utterly helpless before my Mistress.
I have always belonged to you, and I always will. But that was the moment that I knew – the moment that made it crystal clear where and what I was meant to be. On my knees before you; your conscious object, your pleasing little toy, your obedient slave. Never disobeying, no matter how I am used or abused. Serving your pleasure, always and indeed in all ways.
Thank you, Mistress Charlotte. For everything.